I get jealous that Dylan got his antoids removed and I didn’t. I was exposed to second hand smoke longer. I still can’t breathe completely with nose. She stopped when he was 7 and I was 15. I have to sleep with mouth open most nights. He gets breathing treatments every night and I had to always tough it out because I’m the “stronger one. ” I wish I could kiss without getting lightheaded between breaths but again I digress.
Tyler sometimes I want to join you in the ground. We never got to finish our plans for when China wants their deficit payed back. I hope you are finally happy. I hope you feel the love your family didn’t show you. I still miss you grandson.
Last night I dreamt that I slept with the foreign exchange student from last year, Adam. Freaky as hell. Once there was a time I found him attractive but that lasted a month in the beginning of the school year. It was beyond vivid and quite frankly terrified me. A nightmare that was inescapable. Worst part was that I antagonized the poor boy. He’s one of the most sweet , timid, honest guys I know. In the dream, he was the polar opposite of such. It’s ironic since I last spoke to him the day he went back to the Czech Republic. Crying in his monstrous arms that wouldn’t harm a fly. He was such a cool cat so it really upsets me, no offends me that my subconscious made him my aggressor. If I’m ever allowed to send images or webcam with anyone aside from my lover I’ll contact him again. We had funny chats and I miss the cultural exchange. Plus I want to stop thinking about the alter ego my imagination made him.